A shortcut to creating simplicity and magic

Last year I took my family skiing for the first time. Despite the sparkle of fresh powder and mountain air creating my favorite feeling of after skiing, flushed cheeks and the awe of expansive views, the trip didn’t go great. There were many moving parts and many sticks in the spokes. The memories were good but there was a lot of tension, disappointment and upset for everyone at various times, which meant it was constant for me. I wasn’t sure why, but I wanted to do it again. 

We just got back and it was magical. Not perfect, but a solid good time with meaningful connections on the lifts, family dinners, healthy sibling rivalry and lovely fun in the snow. The rosy faces chatting over dinners, recounting the highlights of the day was just what I had imagined the first time I planned the trip.

During this trip I reflected on the difference in that year between trips, on how I’d changed and how those changes affected this trip. Emotional agility, relationship skills, letting go of attachment. But I’m always growing, an occupational hazard of being a coach, that wasn’t what was different. I kept coming back to something that originally was disappointing, and felt like it was a bit of a cop out, but as I see it more clearly, it really wasn’t. I made a simple and significant shift in structure - I booked an airbnb that was ski in/ski out. 

This brilliance was realized by every member of the family over and over. It allowed us to ski and stop skiing when we wanted to, layering onto the autonomy I’m emphasizing for my kids in their transition to young adulthood, and it gave us an out whenever there was friction. We were different on the slopes than we were in the air bnb, and in the world. That’s the point of a vacation, to be different. That one factor took the pressure off and turned the friction to pleasure. The pleasure of me not managing every conflict, the pleasure of flexibility, the pleasure of being in direct proximity to the snow and air and speed, the purpose of the trip.

Originally I didn’t want to credit that. It seemed silly, I kept wanting to dismiss it as just learning from my mistakes last year, but I have come to respect this one decision more deeply as I’ve understood it differently. 

It was a big decision, it significantly increased the cost of the trip and decreased the space we shared. But it gave us freedom to ski when we wanted. It put the focus on the function of the trip, to be on the mountain, and let the other factors fall around the main and shared purpose of the precious time we took from our lives. Form followed function.

It was simple, brilliant and bold, and it was me. I saw it, I decided it, I let other things go because of it. It was not a mindset, or a skill, or a bunch of things that came together like magic, it was an important structure that was defined by the clarity of function: the power of a collective desire to ski, and ski together. I saw that, honored it, and let the trip form around it. 

That was an evolution for me. To see it, and to take credit for it (and to let it. Man, that was hard).

I appreciate simplicity, but it’s not my strength. In this instance, the simplicity of function, and seeing and trusting the structure that comes from that, is my evolution. It’s the culmination of all of the inner work I’ve done this year. The collective needs of the family, and more importantly my needs, were covered by this one shift.

One shift in my thinking and the structure of the trip changed everything for me and created our most memorable family event to date. 

Is there one thing in your life that you would like to shift? Maybe a chat with me is your best next step. I’m currently offering both one-off coaching sessions and more comprehensive programs. Reply to this email or send me a text to see what simplicity might be on offer for you.

P.S. Here’s some photos from our trip. You can see the magic, simplicity of function, and the purpose of vacation in this collection of moments.